Francia Raisa

I hate hair.  Let me repeat: I HATE hair.  It’s ok when it looks good, but I don’t like it touching me or getting in my way.  I really think it’s just a huge hassle.
But if I could choose, I’d choose hair like this:

I think Francia Raisa is so pretty and I absolutely LOVE the way her they style her hair when she plays Adrian on Secret Life. 
   
I also like Shailene Woodley’s hair.  I love the way they style her bangs as swept across her forehead instead of just hanging straight down.  I’m not a fan of blunt bangs like that.  They don’t really look good on anyone.
 
Her hair looks even better this season:
I love Secret Life and I’m currently catching up on the most recent episodes.  I used to watch it every week on ABC Family’s website, but fell behind on the “Just Say Me” episode.  Yea the show is a little corny, and yea a lot of it is unrealistic, but this show gets better with each episode.  They throw some humor in there, and with the more recent episodes there has been a lot of character development.  Recently, the characters have even brought up a lot of issues that commonly arise in real life: friends with benefits, different views regarding casual sex, birth control, and the motivations behind actions for both boys and girls, and how those motivations and actions can affect the outcome.  How one action can destroy relationships, build friendships, and change the course of your life.
I’m a fan of this show.  And I’m going to continue to root for Amy.  With the unexpected turn of events in “Mistakes Were Made” I’m going to start rooting for Amy/Ricky.  I think they balance each other out.  Ricky keeps it real with Amy, and I think they could do a good job together.  I’m not sure about Jimmy yet – I don’t think he’s that cute, and while he seems to like Amy, we haven’t seen enough of his character and personality to see whether he would be a good fit for her.  Plus he’s kinda dumb.  I mean, he didn’t call her just because he found a condom in her purse.  I don’t like that he made assumptions, assumed that she was lying and then stopped talking to her.
I was glad to see Grace put Adrian in her place though.  She needed to hear it.  Even though Grace went and apologized afterwards, I think she had every right to say the things she did, and if I were her I wouldn’t have apologized!  Adrian needs to hear that she really did the wrong thing!  I like how they brought up two different viewpoints though on whether an act is wrong in and of itself or whether it is wrong because of the effect it has on others.  Good conversation starters!
Anyway, that’s my dork of the day.  Now I’m off to secure lunch.  I haven’t eaten a meal since lunch yesterday.  Had a couple snacks yesterday evening, but it felt like there was a war in my stomach and decided it would be best to wait until everything settled down in there.  Then I need to do some other stuff.

Jason Derulo

So my favorite thing about Jason Derulo is the fact that he says his name at the beginning of each of his songs.  I find that extremely helpful, because if he didn’t, I honestly wouldn’t know who he was.

I enjoyed his first song, and I really like his newest song, “In My Head.”  Not only do I like his voice, but I really like the song, and I really enjoy the fact that I can sing it relatively in tune!

Checked out the video for this song for the first time on his Youtube channel, and as soon as the dancing started 15 seconds in, saw exactly where his inspiration and dance moves came from.  Honestly, you can’t miss it.  Remember this classic?  This is one of my personal favorites. 

Now, I am not going to comment on anything relating to Michael Jackson’s life, death or in controversies in-between.  In this post, I simply want to observe the impact that his style has had on pop culture.  I think the “In My Head” video is cute.  JR’s a good dancer, and the story comes across in everything – from the chemistry between him and the female lead to the ‘fantasy’ club scenes.  He does well in this video.  I like that it’s not explicit.  And the influence is clear: you will recognize that about 50% of JR’s choreography in the video are purely MJ moves.  The other 50% is a blend of regular hip-hop dance moves. 

So then of course, I check out the behind the scenes where JR confirms that his inspiration for his video was in fact the video for “The Way You Make Me Feel.”

I think that’s wonderful.  Controversies, scandals and rumor aside, if you just look at the enormous amount of talent that Michael Jackson had, and the original ideas that he had as far as music, dance moves, and performance ideas go, you can’t say that he hasn’t had a huge impact on the development of popular music.  Even after his death, we still see artists using his ideas and dance moves and theme in their own work.  I know that there have only been a handful of people who have made real, original, and lasting contributions to pop music, dancing and performance, and I know that Michael Jackson was one of them.

Jason Derulo seems like a genuine guy.  I look forward to hearing more of his music and wish him success in his career.

Some of these ‘feminists’ are really just nuts!

Okay, stuff like this is why feminists have a bad wrap.
Did you check out their reporting on the casting call?  I think that’s funny.  In order to get a complete picture though, you have to read the comments below.  That gives you an idea of how ridiculous these people are.
So Disney is hosting a casting call for a new movie.  That’s cool.  Great opportunity for anyone that is talented and fits what they are looking for.  According to this article, Disney has very specific height and size requirements.  Okay, well for an industry that is based entirely on visual appeal in the form of physical beauty and CG animation, that’s fair.  As far as I’m concerned, if they are making the movie, they call the shots on who they want to cast, and how they want it to go.
Well in this case, Disney has also decided that they want the actress to have real boobs.  Still don’t see anything wrong with that.  Disney is about projecting an image and making family entertainment.
Well then the article goes on to mention that the Disney filmmakers have cautioned against women with implants from auditioning by stating that they will require ‘show and tell’ to prove that the actress’ boobs are real. 
Here’s where the opinions on that site are wrong.
Ummm so responding to an open casting call is completely optional.  Whether or not you go to any auditions is entirely up to you.  If you choose to engage in that process, then you choose to submit yourself to whatever it is they are asking for.  If you are uncomfortable, then you walk away.  Better yet, since you know ahead of of time that they are requiring a boob test and you choose to go and get offended or feel violated then you are the idiot. 
Showbiz is all about looks and selling ideas through entertainment.  The creative directors/filmmakers/owners/investors/whoever is making the project happen has the right to select whomever they want to represent their brand or act in their movie, or promote their product or whatever it is they are trying to do!  If you know ahead of time that you are going to be offended or disturbed by their business practices or recruiting methods then don’t get involved!!  And if you don’t fit what they are looking for (and Disney is very specific about everything they do) then don’t even bother showing up!!!  No one is going to feel bad for you.
The feminist who posted this article, and the individuals that commented on it obviously have a very skewed viewpoint.  Disney’s casting call is not a women’s rights issue, nor is it offensive.  Rather, my sensibilities are offended when I read garbage like that!  People choose to pursue careers as actors, models, entertainers, etc.  No one forces you.
And as far as the Keira Knightley thing – reporting that her corset was so tight that she could only wear it for several minutes at a time before passing out – well as uncomfortable as that sounds, the Pirates of the Caribbean films really launched her career and she is rolling in big bucks now.  Nobody forced her into doing that role – she signed a contract.  And whatever Disney did, they did it right.  She’s got major fame and she’s rolling in big bucks now.  So I’m sure it was all worth it.  I bet she never has to wear a corset ever again.  Unless she wants to.

True Life: These People are Retarded!

It gets more and more ridiculous.  I don’t get the obsession with failing relationships and people being obsessed with being “serious” with each other when they really don’t need to be together at all!!
And what is it with all of these ugly people trying to be models?  It’s bad enough that the “supermodels” only function as walking hangers, but people with busted faces shouldn’t even try to get into that industry.  Ugh but that’s another story.  Back to the situation at hand.
I watch True Life a lot.  Unfortunately, I believe that some episodes of True Life do reflect how dumb people are in real life.  I’m currently watching True Life: I’m at a Crossroads in My Relationship.  Each of the ladies featured in the episode deserves her own title to describe her situation:
True Life: I’m Dating a Loser and Can’t Figure Out Why I’m Unhappy
and
True Life: I Shouldn’t be in Allowed to be in a Relationship
Umm yea, I feel like I have the right to comment on this.  People are dumb.  So one girl is dating a loser who is clearly only staying with her in order to mooch.  Dude is not a catch, and that is evident from his interactions with her.  The girl seems cool though, and I think she has a good future but only if she dumps loser.  I’ve seen a couple of my friends go through this pattern and it never ends well.  
And why do people say shit like “saving grace.”  I don’t like that.  It doesn’t sound cute.
On a different episodes called True Life: I Can’t Leave My Boyfriend there is a blonde girl dating a guy named Hangman.  Yea.  Hangman.  Think about that for a second.  Hangman is 40.  Blonde girl is 20.  Even though Hangman is not good for blonde girl, she is obsessed with him.  But she claims that she doesn’t care whether they break up or stay together.  Then she moves home to Pennsylvania and leaves him in New York.  Here’s my real concern with this episode:  when we first meet blonde girl, she introduces herself as a sophomore at the Fashion Institute of Technology, or FIT.  Then she spends half of the episode deciding whether she should move back to PA.  She even realizes that unless she completely leaves NY, she is not going to be able to leave Hangman.  Umm WTF?  So she ditched her entire career and dropped out of school so she could control her urges to be with this Hangman?  I really hope not, but that is what is implied in the episode.  Hopefully she just moved back for summer break or something.
Anyway, I guess I just don’t realize why people stay together when they can’t stand each other and are truly miserable.  My mom would suggest that they only do it to get their 15 minutes on MTV.  Normally I would shrug it off as that, but even though True Life may be exaggerated, there are people who really do live like this.  They stay in miserable relationships or stay with their partner regardless of whether they actually care for one another simply so they can “be in a relationship.”  I’ve seen it several times.  Usually from those girls who have made it their life goal to be a housewife.  The same girls who do the casual sex thing while secretly hoping that it will turn into a lifetime commitment.  The same girls that are obsessed with dating.  The same girls I talked about in my last blog.
It sucks when you are so close to the problem that you can’t see it clearly.  We’ve all been in that position one way or another.  Unfortunately, even when outside observations suggest that there is something wrong – or even when it is obvious – they often can’t see it, or refuse to acknowledge it.
I may sound harsh, but I am just stating what I know to be true.  I don’t proclaim to know everything, I just believe that some things are right, and some things are wrong.  And it has nothing to do with religion or politics.  I don’t think things are right or wrong based on the actual act being performed, rather, I think that things are right or wrong based on the effect that they have on other people.  More on this to come.

“Bad Romance”

If you get a chance, check out this article from the Daily Collegian on casual hookups and weenies that can’t figure out why they’re single.
I have a lot to say about this subject.  This is an area where I get really conservative and take a departure from my more liberal peers.  Here is a comment that I posted on the site that the article was published on.
“This article summarizes exactly how I feel.  The author did not suggest that ALL women ONLY want to get married or be in serious relationships, he just noticed that the women complaining about being single - the ones who say they want a 'serious' relationship - tend to be the ones who are so desperate for attention that they will lower their standards and participate in one night stands or FWB relationships in the hopes that it will turn into something more.
I am a young woman, just graduated college, and I will tell you that I have witnessed this kind of behavior from many of my female peers, both those in college and those who were not.  This behavior transcends geographical region, race, backgrounds, and educational levels. 
This author is correct: if you want to be in a serious relationship, don't engage in behaviors that are inconsistent with your claim and that will turn potential partners off from dating you.  I personally think that promiscuity is the #1 turn off and its NEVER cute, whether you are a man or a woman.  Honestly, if you are sleeping around or have a FWB then meet a potential partner, he is not going to think of you as someone he can build a life with.
If you like doing the casual sex thing and don't want a relationship, then good for you - this article is irrelevant, but don't get mad at the author for speaking his mind, and pointing out a trend he has witnessed.  I have always found that the individuals who claim that they are "progressive" or "liberal" and proclaim to be are accepting or tolerant of other's viewpoints are in fact the ones who are the most closed-minded, and won't even listen to opinions from the other side.  THAT, and their assumption that everyone else must accept their lifestyle choices is the biggest problem with society today.
Bottom line is this: it's all about personal choice, but make sure that you are not making poor choices that set you up for failure and ALWAYS be smart about what you are doing, whether its casual sex or sex within a committed relationship.”
That is the abbreviated version of my opinion regarding this matter.
Personally, I am not a fan of casual hookups.  I don’t get the one night stand thing, and I don’t get how you could want to do naughty with someone who has done naughty with everyone else.  Plus I’m terrified of diseases.  And babies.  I don’t get how someone could risk disease+baby with someone you barely know, and someone you are not in a relationship with.  I don’t get the promiscuity being cute thing, I honestly think it is a big turn off for men just as much as women. 
So its safe to say I don’t share the same views as most of my peers on this issue.  I have had several friends put themselves in the ONS situation or the FWB situation or the casual-sex-that-doesn’t-mean-anything-but-I’m-secretly-in-love-with-him-and-I-hope-we-get-married situation, and from my observations it never works out right.
The young ladies put themselves out there as ‘on-demand’ for the guy, whom they would like to be in a relationship with.  In fact, I have seen these women make up entire futures for themselves and the guy…a future that includes them getting married and living happily ever after.  To a guy that just wants naughty time with them…who really could care less about their marriage fantasies.  It’s even worse when you think about the fact that most people that get married really don’t know enough about each other to make that kind of commitment…that’s a big part of the reason that the divorce rate is so high.
For some reason, women in our society have internalized the message that they need to have an obsession with romance.  External pressures from the media and misguided pressure from loved ones both contribute to this.  Everyone is in such a rush to fall into the “perfect relationship” and everyone is so misinformed as to what a good relationship actually entails.  For some, they think that great sex=great relationship.  They don’t realize that communication is the foundation they need.  Others think that they can change others, make them better and then sculpt the partner and relationship into what they want it to be.  They don’t realize the role that friendship plays in finding a good companion.  Some focus on only the materialistic things that they can get from their partner.  They don’t realize that those material items can be gone in an instant, leaving them with nothing.
I don’t know…these really aren’t hard concepts to grasp.  I can only wonder about those who believe the misguided messages.  Maybe they were never taught?  Maybe they didn’t have a good example?  Maybe they don’t have the confidence to set standards and stick to them?  Maybe they come from homes where the parents cheated/divorced/lied/were absent/etc.?
I think it’s sad.  I can’t imagine what it’s like bouncing from one relationship to the next, each time trying to convince yourself that he’s the one, and overestimating the depth of your bond.  Seriously, the signs are all there that he wants it to stay as a booty call, or that he knows he’s got a sucker, or that he’s just feeding you lines, or that he’s got 10 million other girls on the side.  How can you not see them?  Or worse, how can you fall for the same crap over and over.  Yet so many girls do.  And they think they’re better off than everyone else.  They want to give you relationship advice.  I just smile and nod.  Whatever makes you feel good.  You’re not hurting me, you’re just setting yourself up for failure.

Pizza Salad

So pizza salad is my new food addiction!  Since I discovered it a couple weeks ago, I have ordered a gorgonzola pizza salad from Jordan's Too like 5 times!  I have always loved Jordan’s pizza, and I especially like dipping it in their homemade dressing.  In fact, whenever we ordered regular pizza from Jordan’s, we would often order a gorgonzola salad to go with it…well that turned out to be like 25 bucks every time and we would have leftovers.  Well the gorgonzola pizza salad is the perfect union of these delicious foods and surprise: only 13 bucks and it’s the perfect amount of food!  Boo-yah!

Liberal Arts

Anyone else who has a liberal arts degree might find this article useful.

Also, check out this article by William Deresiewicz.  Very interesting.  Full commentary to come in a future post.

And back to Lindsey Pollak, she is an author, you can find her books here.

Spring Cleaning and Firewire Cables

I spent a lot of time online yesterday researching – from how to get a boating license and outdoor activities to publishing programs.  I love the wide array of information available online, and I have wayyy too many favorites bookmarked!  Actually, I’m going to be going through my favorites (hopefully today) and organizing them by deleting pages I’ll no longer be needing and putting everything into folders.  I’ve done this in the past, but the reason I don’t do it as often is because it takes so long with Internet Explorer.  Like there is a 5 second response time when you are moving a site into a folder or just moving it period.  I don’t remember it being like that with Windows XP and an older version of IE.

Anyway, so today I am looking into the other products that Google offers, like Google Sites.  I might even start my own professional webpage!  I have also established a new ‘professional’ email address that I will now use in my job search.  Until now I was still using my old college email.  I think that 11 months after graduation it’s time to take that off of my resume!  That and I like to keep professional email separate from my personal email.  In addition I am looking into whether it would be worth it to make my own business cards.  I’m doing research into whether its worth it, and what to put on the cards, since I am still a ‘recent grad.’ 

This week I will be starting Spring Cleaning too.  My office area (it’s not a real office, just my laptop space at home) has gotten very messy over the last couple weeks, and with the change in weather, it may be time to start putting away my winter stuff.  The author of this site is actually visiting my college this week.  I think her presentation will be helpful to the students there.  I would love to sneak in and listen, but seeing how I live 1000 miles away that will not be possible! 

Anyway, not only am I taking this time to reorganize my thoughts and approach to the job search, but I also want to take some time to clear off my hard drive, back up photos and documents, and start exploring new programs!  Last summer I purchased a firewire cable so that I can transfer and edit home videos, my graduation tape and back up the Mini-DV tapes that my camcorder uses.  I think the best thing about technology these days is that it is so DIY.  After viewing my graduation tape, one of my uncles suggested that I take it to Walgreens and have them make a DVD out of it for about $30.  Well I was pretty thrilled to find out that with a firewire/1394 cable you can upload videos to your computer, edit them however you like, add transitions, titles, etc., then burn your own DVDs.  This is a perfect project, since I do have free time, but after playing around with it a little bit and figuring out the basics, I put it aside and didn’t work on it again.  Picked it up last night, showed my mom how it works, and suggested that we work on it together.  I’ll probably do most of it though.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, she’s pretty busy this week working, and she might be working full-time again, so she won’t have much time to help me out.  That’s okay.

I feel like I suck at this internet thing because I write way too much!  I know that the media today uses short soundbites to get messages across, and I seem to write novellas every time I post!  Hopefully I’ll get away from my tendency to rant, and more towards focused posts as I spend more time at blogging.  I will tell you, it feels so good to write!  I’m even thinking of doing a few fiction/fantasy pieces too, though that will be posted on another website that I feel too dorky mentioning on here! 

Windows Live Editor and Review

So I am doing a little research about how to improve my blog and about all the tools that I can add to my blog and I discovered Windows Live Writer.  So far this program is pretty cool!  I have to admit that I’ve got a great laptop and I know that it can do a lot of cool stuff, but I haven’t really explored many of the programs on here.  Hopefully I will start to do so soon!

This blogger suggests using dedicated software to edit and publish your posts, and so far I have to agree with him!  Windows Live Editor allows you to link with your blog, so that you can create posts, add in all the standard goodies like hyperlinks, pictures, videos, etc., but also lets you preview the post as you are typing it!  I find that visual aspect very helpful.  Furthermore, you can set it up so that it prompts you to add a tag to your post before it is published, if you are prone to forgetting, like me.  I’m sure there are many other cool tools that WLE offers, and I hope to explore them so that I can get the most out of my blogging experience!  I’m thinking that WLE can also be helpful if you have the urge to blog but are located in an area with limited or no wireless internet access.

Blogging is really about having your own space to explore ideas, express opinions, foster conversation, highlight plans, achieve goals, and contribute something positive to the online community.  I have several blogging goals, and I think that WLE might be able to help me achieve them.

1. Learn the ins and outs of publishing, customizing, and designing blogs.  Once I have mastered blogging I would really like to go on to learn more about coding and web page publishing on a professional level.  I want to be able to customize!

2. Contribute to the online community by writing reviews, posting opinions, applying my critical thinking skills, and participating in discussions.

3. I would like to have subscribers, increase traffic to my blog, and play an active role in the blogging community.

As I discover other benefits to using Windows Live Editor I will share!

Beach, Goals and Dreams

Had a wonderful day yesterday with my boyfriend at the beach!  The weather was *perfect* and it was exactly what I needed.  We walked up and down the shore, collected shells, and laid on the sand just soaking up the vitamin D!  I believe that was the first time we have ever gotten the chance to do that.  We've been dating for over 6 years.  That's the stuff I missed out on being far away for college.  I'm pretty easy to please and that was the most fun I've had in a while :)

Before that we had a great conversation over lunch at Bertuccis.  One of my favs and he suggested it =P.  He's pretty great.  I mentioned that I wanted to go for a walk and he took me to the most beautiful beach.  So lunch was great because I got a chance to go over where I am, my plans, job search status, ideas, and goals.  We had a very inspiring conversation, where he encouraged me to follow my dreams, be creative and create something for myself.

So I got the chance to review my short term and long term goals and dreams, as well as things we want to do together.  My list now includes the following:

- Write the book.  I have a great and useful topic that will sell, and I have collaborators.  Now we just need to do it.  In fact, might have it start as a blog and then go from there.  Just worried about copyright stuff and how that whole thing works.  It worked for Julia Heyward!

- Obtain my boating license and buy a boat.  My bf and I decided that we are going to buy an old sailboat, fix it up, and learn to sail.  That would be amazing!  I know absolutely nothing about sailing or the water, other than how to swim, so I am going to look into classes and maybe we can get our certifications together.  Gathered the following information:

CT DEP Boating Info
CT Boating Education and Certification
American Sailing Association

- Do some outdoorsy/nature things.  I haven't been a big fan of nature in the past, but I want to give it a good go now!  Did some researching earlier and came up with the following:

CT State Parks and Forest Fees

I'm excited.  This summer is going to be good.  Good new on the homefront: my mom might be working soon, so then she will (hopefully) be a little less stressed.  In the meantime I'm going to be focusing on me until I figure out the next move whether its work, school, or some combo or both.

My boyfriend also suggested that I try freelancing.  I'll look into it.  Writing has always come easily to me, and between my interest in blogging and internet stuff it sounds like it might be a good fit.  I also want to learn some coding and webpage design stuff.  I think that any young person who doesn't know how to do at least basic stuff is at a disadvantage.  I want to be able to do more than just using programs or sites I want to start learning coding and intermediate design.  That's a useful skill that will definitely make me more marketable!  Plus, I like behind the scenes stuff.

New Moon, Twilight Reviews

Just wanted to comment on the Twilight series.  So I saw New Moon before I saw Twilight.  I have to saw that New Moon was definitely an improvement over Twilight, but that neither movie had as much action as I expected.  Both movies drove me crazy while I was watching them.  It's not that they're horrible movies or anything - I get the fantasy thing, and I get what the author wanted to get across - the thing that drives me nuts is how slow the movies are, and how, um, silly Bella's character is.

Twilight is an hour and a half of Bella staring at Edward while he stares back at her with pouty face.  WTF is that?  That's not realistic.  Here's the movie:

E: Hey
B: Hey
**E and B stare at each other for extended periods with a pained or solemn expression**
B: You weren't in class.
E: No.  I wasn't.
**continue to stare**
The end.

New Moon has a bit more to it:
E: Bye.  Don't do dumb stuff.
B: **pouty face**
**without E to look at, B stares out the window**
**continues to stare**
J: Hey.  I'm hot and I like you.
B: Oh.  Hey maybe I could like you too.  Don't leave.
J: I never would.
J: Wait.  Just kidding, I'm dangerous too.  See ya.
B: **pouty face**
**more staring**
B: Well now that I'm depressed, I'm going to dumb stuff 'cuz its a rush.
J: Hey um, I'm back and I'm dangerous too...but I still like you.
B: I like you too.
E: I really like you.  Just kidding about that me leaving thing.
B: Oh, sorry J, I really do like you, but you were just a rebound.  E is the dangerous guy I pick.
E: Rad.
The End.

These movies are not horrible or anything, but I fear that the messages are not appropriate lessons for the target audience, who are pre-teens and teenage girls.

In the beginning, Bella is established as the new girl - everyone wants to get to know her.  But she doesn't want to be friends.  She lacks self-confidence, doesn't look people in the eye when talking to them, and keeps her head bowed pretty much the whole time.  She doesn't want to celebrate her birthday or open gifts.  She doesn't smile.  She is depressed.  There's no good reason for her depression in Twilight, but by New Moon, her moods are dependent on which guy is paying her attention.

She falls in love with a vampire, who has his own depression issues.  He hates his life, is pissed that he has no soul, and stresses over whether he is good for Bella.  He has to learn to control himself around her, which is extremely difficult for both him and his family members.  He does love her though, and the two of them share an emo-type romance where they stare at each other.  At least there's no naughty, because Edward can barely restrain himself if they kiss.  Well Bella begs Edward over and over to transform her into a vampire so they can live together forever.  He refuses.  She can't accept that he loves her the way she is and doesn't want to hurt her.

After an incident on her birthday, Edward tells Bella its over and disappears.  She falls into a deep depression and is plagued by nightmares.  Jacob, the friendly werewolf next door tries to befriend her and confess his love for her.  She won't reciprocate, although its clear that she feels something for him too.  Jacob promises that he won't ditch her.  Then he too, disappears.  She gets depressed again.  We later find out that he's a werewolf, and is afraid that he might lose control and physically hurt Bella.  See the parallel? 

Well Bella has little regard for her own safety, and doesn't care about her future.  All that matters is that Edward loves her.  Once he's gone, all that matters is that Jacob is chasing after her.  Then he disappears, then all that matters is Edward again.  Her entire existence and value is placed on whether Edward wants to be with her.  That's a bad message to send to little girls.  I wish we could see a confident young woman on the screen, who makes good choices for herself.  And Bella literally begs Edward to turn her into a vampire.  In order to do this, he has to commit an act of violence against her.  She doesn't care.  Again, not a good message to send to young girls.  Plus she spends half the movie doing really dangerous things because it gives her to chance to able to glimsp Edward warning her to stop.  She doesn't heed his warnings, and continues to seek the "rush" she gets from seeing him.

One more thing relating to violence - kudos to the guys for removing themselves from situations where they are afraid that they might lose control.  However, the message in the movie is that ultimately, one may not be able to exercise restraint, and that the resulting violence is excusable.  We see another werewolf who lost his temper "for a split second" and mauled his fiance, leaving her permanently disfigured.  But she stays with him, reinforcing the idea that extreme violence is okay, and that it is okay if men lose control.

All in all, I didn't mind watching these two movies, but as an adult I can see the overarching messages and flaws.  I'm afraid that younger and more impressionable girls might not be able to see beyond "Edward fever," and may not have an adult figure to talk to them about the messages that the movie sends.

Now, on a more superficial level:  Edward is too pale!  I can't get caught up in him because he is wayyy too pale, and the red lipstick is awful!  Besides that and the pouty face, I'm not really into him at all.  I'm more for Jacob - not only is he better looking, in my opinion (face and body), but he's got a healthy tan glow going on!  Jacob is way hotter than Edward, and at least he knew how to smile, have fun and do more than just stare at Bella.

Side note:  my boyfriend and I have fun re-enacting scenes from Twilight.  We make sad pouty faces and then just stare at each other for a couple minutes.  We like to share this with our friends.  They enjoy it too.

Deva

Okay, here's part of the real reason I got into blogging.

Curly Hair.

There I said it.  And I'm glad to know there are a lot of other ladies out there interested learing about curly hair, and finding healthy ways to manage or deal with curly hair.

Ehh I could go on and on about my hair and the struggles I've had with it, but I guarantee that my story is not that exciting.  I'll quickly summarzie:
- poofy
- struggle to tame
- relaxer: omg its almost straight, but it still curls a bit
- flat iron: omg its amazing....but wait its getting damaged
- more flat iron: omg its really damaged and won't even curl anymore but i don't know what else to do with it
- whoa, there's a whole online community where women come together to discuss hair care! (there was never anyone around me that had hair like mine that I could really talk to about it)
- maybe I'll flat iron less and try Mixed Chicks?

So then I took a trip to The Workshop in New Haven.  Got up there, and after a consultation, both Dickie and Nancy suggested that I use the Deva Curl line of products.  These guys are experts, and they offered me a free demonstration, which included Nancy washing and styling my hair, and showing me how to use the products.  They also handed me a copy of Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey. 

I decided to give it a try.  Walked outta there with Low Poo, One Conditioner, and Arc Angel.  All Deva Curl products.  That was in November.  It's March.  I have only flat ironed my hair once in the last 4 months.  It's tough, and you have to be patient while you're transitioning over to the CG mindset and 'lifestyle' but I can tell that my hair is healthier, it looks better, and it takes less time than my old blow-dryer/flat iron routine.  Plus I don't have to battle humidity, and frizz is a thing of the past!

I'd recommend it, and anyone who is interested should check out Naturally Curly.  This forum on NC is also inspirational, and gives you an idea of the transformation that can come from trading harsh chemicals and heat-dependent styling methods for a more natural, specialized approach.  I'd also recommend the Deva Curl line.  I've had a great experience with it.  I am currently in the process of growing out my hair, as I still have chemically straightened ends.  I'm waiting until my hair gets longer so that I can get a nice cut that will flatter my hair (currently growing out a short blunt cut that really only works on straight hair).

That said, although I still check up on the hair care ideas and methods that people highlight in their blogs, and on NC, I am not making my blog a curly hair care blog.  I am not experienced enough to give others recommendations, plus my routine is working for me right now, plus I really want to write about so many other things!  So I may mention it occasionally, but haircare will not be the focus of my writing.

MPP!

Ok so I have to confess.  It has been almost a year since I graduated from college and I still have no job, and I haven't accomplished anything that I thought I would have by this time.  I panicked about the job thing and convinced myself that I would go to law school.  I spend about $700 that I should have put towards my credit card on LSAT classes and registering on LSAC.  My family really liked this idea.  They've always pushed me towards law school, and my mom is not happy unless I'm obsessing over going to school.  She's really just scared that I'll be like her and never finish anything.  Except that I already finished college.  That's the thing she didn't finish.  I also suspect that she just wants to compete with her sister.  My aunt has 3 kids.  One is a doctor, the other is a professional, accomplished MBA.  Both have houses.  They did it "the right way."  They both embrace the backwards Jamaican culture.  One really did it right - she got a career, an advanced degree, a house, a husband, another house and a baby.  That is the only acceptable way to live according to my family.  In fact, when we found out that this cousin was getting married, my mom was overly excited and she said to me, "I'm just so excited, *name* is like my first child, you know?"  I'm her first and only child, so no, I don't know.  My aunt and uncle's youngest daughter messed up.  She did everything wrong, in the eyes of my family.

Anyway, I've been back and forth between the job search and deciding that I would go back to school for something...and I keep coming back to the same thing.  The one thing I am certain of, is that I love studying economics and public policy and applying theories and concepts to real situations.  How can I do this, earn a professional degree AND develop a career?  Well pursuing a master's degree in public policy.  That is the one program that I would really like to do, and I'm confident that I would enjoy it, and could really apply myself and succeed.  The one thing that I can't seem to do though, is develop a plan to get there and focus on completing it. 

The big obstacle in my way is the GRE and being disciplined enough to study for it.  I didn't spend all day studying in college.  When I needed to work hard, I did, believe me, and my transcript and membership in 4 honor societies shows that.  But I didn't major in science or math...I majored in economics, and when you're studying economics, you either have the intuition or you don't, it seems, and then you develop it.  I discovered that intuition, honed it, and found that I really have a passion for the subject.  So I think that this might be the step for me.

So they offer MPA and MPP degrees.  Masters of public administration or masters of public policy.  I'd really like to go the MPP route.  The MPA seems to be the public service equivalent of an MBA, in that it is a professional program that prepares you for the administrative side of public policy, where you are a manger and/or responsible for implementing policy recommendations and programs.  The MPP prepares you to be the person that analyzes the policy, makes recommendations, and looks at how policies would affect your constituency/state/organization/etc.  THAT is what I want to do.  But being the person I am, all I can focus on, is how I should have been doing this instead of pretending to prepare for the LSAT and research law schools.  But I guess that's not a waste, because it led me to what I really want to do, before I got saddled with student loans and a "deserter debuff."  Wow reference.  So in general, I know that I am too late for fall admission and financial aid, and maybe I'm doing this backwards, but I am going to do it.  I am going to begin researching individual schools today and find out I have to do to get in, and when I would be able to start.  Even if its not until January or next fall, I want to do this.

Shady Dealings - avoid Bob's of Milford dealership in Milford, CT!

Wrote a review on Kudzu.com for Bob's of Milford in Milford, CT.  Review can be found here.  Copied and pasted my review to post on here too.  Backstory and details after the review.

Posted on Kudzu.com - This place is shady. Having done extensive research went up there with a car & budget in mind. Found the car we liked and were not allowed to look at it and the salespeople would not tell us the price or any info..insisted that you had to give your SS# and personal info upfront and then they will PICK A CAR FOR YOU. Complete bs. Went with my bf for moral support and to be a 2nd set of ears, it turned invasive, they questioned me about my personal business (mind you I am not looking to buy a car, he is), and then turned into them trying to pressure and guilt me into cosigning with my bf on the loan. Don't remember names, but we spoke with the Indian salesperson and the African-American "manager" with a diamond earring stud. Would not recommend this place, it struck a bad chord with both of us the moment he said that he's not allowed to tell us the price of the vehicle. Yeah...Skip this place and stick with somewhere legit.

So my boyfriend is in the market for a new car.  We have done extensive research on cars and prices and are now working on finding a model that suits his needs and is within his budget.  We have been to several dealerships recently to check out their pre-owned inventory and to test drive and examine all of the cars we are considering.  Right now have narrowed it down to the '08 Ford Focus, '08 Mazda Mazda5, and possibly the '08 Ford Fusion or '08 Mercury Milano.  We have test driven all of these cars, and now it is just a matter of finding one with low mileage that is in great shape for a good price, and obtaining financing for the vehicle.  We have spent hours at 2 Carmax locations, as well as several authorized dealerships test driving, getting info, asking questions, examining the vehicles, etc.  We signed up for a Consumer Reports membership so that we can have access to detailed information about specific car models, and always check Kelly Blue Book so that we know how much the vehicles are really worth.

My boyfriend has less-than-stellar credit so finding financing, especially now has been a challenge.  Bob's of Milford was recommended by his manager at work as somewhere to check out.  After finding out that they close at 9 p.m., we hopped in the car and drove 30 mins in light traffic to get up there.  We get there, checked out the cars, and then a man approached us.  We ask him for the price on two particular cars.  His response?  "The cars all have different prices." ... Duh.  So then we repeat the question.  He tells us that they don't give out the price of cars or any info about them, or let you look at them until after you provide your SSN and personal info.  Red flag goes off.  Long story short, we get an hour long lecture/guilt trip with the creepy sales person and his weirdo manager trying to pressure me into co-signing on the loan with him because I have good credit.  When I explained that I am currently unemployed, he reassured me that "that doesn't matter."  Yea...responsible lending.  Since our visit on Tuesday night, the sales person has called twice to harass my boyfriend and find out whether I will be cosigning.  We will not be contacting that place again, and in fact, since doing research online, I have found out that that place is mostly just a scam and has stolen thousands of dollars from people in the form of "required deposits" before you know whether you are approved for financing.  Shady stuff.  In addition, we are warning everyone we know to stay away from that place and any other place like it.  So far I have found out that Barberino Nissan in Wallingford is evern worse than Bob's.  These people are crooks, please stay away, I'm glad that we were prepared and savvy enough to recognize a scam when we see it.  Unfortunately for the guys at Bob's, I'm sure they didn't expect two young people to be so prepared and such educated consumers.  That's just the way you have to be though!

Check out these links for more info on car shopping and to avoid scams!  Also try using google creatively, by searching for the name of the dealership and adding "reviews" or "scams" at the end of it to see what comes up.  There are many sites out there dedicated to consumer reviews, including Kudzu, Yelp, Rip Off Report, and Edmunds to name a few.

Better Business Bureau

Rip Off Report

Edmunds

Kelly Blue Book

Consumer Reports

25 Things About Cheeks Part 3 (17-25)

17. I HATE things that are repetitive.  Songs, phrases, etc.  I can't stand listening to the same lyric or phrase or whatever it is over and over and over and over and over.  Drives me nuts!

18.  I pick stuff out of my fried rice.  I don't like those little wormy bean sprout things I think they're gross.  I don't like when my fried rice crunches.  Plus they remind me of the ascaris worms that we dissected in 10th grade biology.

19.  Feminists irritate me.  I check this website often, but just to see what news they have to report.  I believe in equality, and I am all about free choice and making informed and responsible decisions, but I disagree with the majority of "traditionally feminist" opinions and problems solving methods.

20.  I don't like kids.  They're cute and everything when they're like 20 feet away but they are wayyyy too loud and make my head hurt when they start talking/yelling/crying.  I don't want any kids, I don't think babies are great, I think they're just a lot of work and sticky.  I have never changed a diaper, and I'd like to keep it that way!  I did not grow up around kids or have siblings, so I am not used to kids and don't know what to do with them.

21.  As I mentioned earlier, my mom's family is Jamaican.  They're crazy right-wing hardcore Christian conservatives.  I used to be like that.  Now I'm not.

22.  College was a disaster, just a miserable craptastic time.  I chose the school not really based on anything - I didn't know what to look for in a college, and I didn't have anyone providing useful guidance or help.  From the moment I decided till the day she dropped me off, my mom kept insisting that I could transfer if I didn't like it.  She was more nervous than me, it seemed.  Well I found out that was a lie when I called her 2 weeks later to tell her that I hated it there.  That whole experience, and the fact that I wasn't allowed to correct my mistake (choice of school) really took a hit on my self-esteem and decision-making abilities.  I still have trouble making decisions today because I am so terrified of risking a bad outcome.  Even the most minor decisions are harder than they used to be for me.  Sounds silly, but it's something that I'm working on fixing.

23.  I love love love books and learning.  I could spend all day in Barnes and Noble and be the happiest person ever just browsing through all the books.  I don't do this very often though, because as I mentioned earlier in this list, I get really into whatever I'm doing.  I secretly love reading, but as school went on and on (high school and then college), it got to the point where I barely even read the assigned readings for class, let alone pick up a book for fun.  I should probably get back into reading for fun though.  Lately I've been reading a lot of blogs and articles and info on the Internet.

24. I hate being wasteful!  I really do!
25.  I'm really afraid that I either won't keep up with writing this blog, or that even if I do, it'll suck and no one will want to read it.  I love reading other people's blogs, and I love writing (I've journeled for most of my life), and I have a lot of opinions and no way to express them (my family is very close-minded and dumb when it comes to stuff like that), so I thought that blogging would be the perfect forum for me to express my opinions and write about everyday stuff and experiences that I have.  I am really worried though that anyone who passes by this blog will find me boring.  I hope that doesn't happen!

25 Things About Cheeks Part 2 (11-16)

Continuing from where I left off...

11.  I have never had any privacy at home.  I had more privacy living in a dorm.

12.  Only child.  Grew up with a bunch of adults.  Mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, great-aunt and my kitty cat.

13.  I chew the inside of my mouth like you wouldn't believe.  It's a nervous habit, and I really tear it up sometimes. 

14.  I have flaps in the back of my mouth called operculum.  They are located where my wisdom teeth would come in.  They are quite a pain, as food gets stuck underneath them when I eat.  I asked my detist about it, he said that chances are I would end up chewing them off and swallowing them.

15.  I love love love smoothies!  I could have a smoothie every day.  Lately I've been making yogurt smoothies with fresh fruit they are so yummy!

16. I have a cat named Fluffy and he's my BFF!  I was 8 when I got Fluffy, and he was a kitten (I think like 6-8 weeks old).  Fluffy is going to be 15 this year and he's so great!  He is orange, and he is half Maine Coon.  He's so cool!  But my boyfriend says he's a gay cat...that's ok though I still love him!  He always hangs out with me, and we spend a lot of quality time, mostly with him getting involved in stuff that I do.  When I'm on the computer, he walks across the keyboard.  When I'm moving stuff around, he plops down on top of it.  And he goes nuts for a laser pointer!  Seriously, he's the best cat ever. 

This one's short because I'm blogging while waiting in the queue for a group.  Doing my random to get frosties and then hoping to get the hilt from one of the new dungeons!

25 Things About Cheeks, Part 1 (1-10)

Thought about it a bit, and how my last post sort of went off topic and thought that a better way to start introducing myself might be through the "25 Things" list that has been popular.  Since it is 2 a.m., I am only going to post a list of 10 things about me and I will continue to add to it.

1. When I get into something, I really get into it.  For this reason, I often avoid getting too involved in stuff, even things that might benefit me.  For example, despite my great procrastination skills, when I dedicated time to my schoolwork, whether it was a particular assignment or class, I put all of my energy and focus into it.  It would be all I could think about, and I would keep working on the assignment until it was as perfect as I could make it.  I've always been this way, very "all or nothing," where I either put in a little bit of effort and sort of gloss over things or get way too involved.  It sounds a little nuts, but sometimes I avoid getting involved in things because I know that I will put too much effort into it.  This has helped me get through things though.  As you know, my college experience was miserable and lonely and the only way I was able to get through it was through occupying my mind playing World of Warcraft.  My boyfriend introduced me to the game during the summer before my junior year, and this escape really helped me deal with the distance and depression and get through it.  I either put a lot of energy in and play hours every day or I don't play at all.  I'm weird like that I guess.

2. I am mixed race.  I have to mention this, because as much as I hate the emphasis placed on race in our society, this is a prominent part of my life and provides the framework for my experiences and interactions with others.  I simply like to say that I am "mixed."  My mom's family is from Jamaica, but their specific heritage includes black, Chinese and Scottish.  In fact, several generations back on my mother's side part of my family was Jewish!  I think this is so cool, as I personally admire and respect the Jewish faith.  Somewhere along the way though, they converted to Christianity (I think missionaries).  Sigh.  More on that in a future post.  Anyway, my dad's side is Irish, English, and Dutch.  So my mom's family immigrated from Jamaica about 30 years ago.  My maternal grandfather - his family is Chinese but he was born and raised in Jamaica.  So he looks Chinese, understands some of the language, but is completely Jamaican.  My mom then, I guess is technically mixed, but in Jamaica, you just are Jamaican regardless of what color you are.

3. Continuing on the race issue - only a couple of people have ever been able to identify that I am mixed, but no one has been able to guess the mix.  I have been mistaken for Puerto Rican, Mexican, Indian, Hawaiian, Pakistani, Greek, white with a really good tan, and a couple others that I am blanking on at the moment.  It's pretty great.  I love being racially ambiguous, though it can get tiring explaining my whole background to every single person I meet.  Can't blame them though, they're just curious :)

4. I absolutely love studying astronomy.  Unfortunately I was not able to study this in college, but that's an entirely different story.  I am absolutely fascinated by the sheer size of our universe and love learning about the different things in it.

5.  I get migraines.  A lot.  They are triggered very easily, and by several known factors, as well as other unknown/random things.  I am most sensitive to smells and light.  Either one of these will trigger a bad one for me, particularly perfumes, colognes, scented candles, air fresheners, lotions, soaps, anything like this.  This sucks, mostly because it seems that nearly everyone likes to use heavily perfumed products so that things "smell good."  These things to me smell absolutely terrible, and can trigger a migraine within 5 minutes.  I do have medicine that helps a great deal though.  My migraines have gotten progessively worse over the last few years, but now I carry Maxalt-MLT with me, which makes a huge difference.  It tastes absolutely awful, and I gag everytime I take it (it melts in your mouth), but I try to suck on a piece of candy or take it with juice so that I can get the taste out of my mouth.  With this medicine as back-up, I have been able to go from completely non-functioning during a migraine attack to being able to continue with activities (though sometimes in moderation).  Unless it knocks me out, because sometimes it makes me sleepy.  Anyway, bottom line of that is that I deal with frequent migraines and I would like to explore what causes them, determine specific triggers, and then avoid those things when possible.

6. I am in a wonderful fun relationship with a great man, who I call Poopadoo.  Poopadoo and I have been dating for over 6 years now, and we have really been through a lot in our relationship.  We really treasure our relationship though, because we built it together without outside influence, and we truly love one another.  I am very happy that we are now beginning to plan our future together.  Poopadoo and I are proud of what we have, and we know what works for us.  <3

7.  This next one will sounds really crazy, but I hear music in my head 24/7.  Sometimes its annyoing, sometimes it doesn't bug me, and sometimes I'm not totally aware of it, but this is a result of me being a violinist.  Not much more to say, except that I'm not crazy, and I am aware that one composer eventually went crazy from hearing nothing but the constant tone A in his head for several years.  I think it was Bizet, but I'm not 100% sure on this.

8.  My favorite character from WoW is Arthas.  Arthas is like my role model.  That sounds bad, but I totally relate to him.  Some are sick of him, but I feel that he was really just misunderstood, and got swept up by his passions.  I totally understand him, where he came from, why he did most of the things he did, and honestly can't get enough of his story.  I am also, very aware of how tragic his story is, and how he was manipulated by Ner'zhul.  I have the book, Arthas: Rise of the Lich King, and I've watched all videos related to him.  I know all of his in-game appearances, and know most of them by heart.  I also absolutely love his voice in WoTLK.  The voice that Michael McConnohie does is perfect.  And sexy.  That's my dorky confession.  It's actually perfect though, because my boyfriend's favorite character is Jaina.  He always plays a caster - mage/priest/warlock and I always play a plate-wearing damage dealer - warrior, paladin, death knight.  Funny.

9. I don't know what I would do without my laptop.  I have had a laptop since college began, but got a huge upgrade last Christmas to a really nice entertainment/gaming laptop that I seriously carry with me everywhere.  This leads into my last item...

10.  I love the internet.  I love the access to information that it provides, and I love reading articles, blogs, and comments to learn about other people's opinions.

Okay, now its nearly 3 a.m. and I need to get some sleep.  Tomorrow I am going with my boyfriend to look at cars.  He is in the market for a new one.  Hopefully this post wasn't too long or too boring!  Part 2 to come.

About Cheeks, pt.1

For the first time in my life, I am having to create and define my identity outside that of a student.  This is hard to do, especially after spending 17 years in school.  My blogger identity is Cheeks, which is a nickname that my boyfriend gave me early on in our relationship.  I am a Class of 2009 college grad, and have been out of school for almost 10 months now.  I graduated college without a job, and 10 months later, I am still unemployed.  The past few years have been rough, but the past year has been especially tough on me and my family, but I will write more about that later.

I graduated from a top liberal arts college in the midwest and to be honest, college sucked.  The university iteself was fine, and the academic were great, in fact, I loved going to class and learning, but the "college experience" that I expected was just not there at all.  I am not from the midwest, so attending college in a state 20 hours away from my boyfriend, family, and everything that was familiar, and being in an environment where over 90% of the student body was from that state and lived just a couple hours away was awful.  At my college, most of the students were from either from the suburbs of Chicago, or weirdly small towns in Illinois with populations under 700 people.  The midwest is just *different* from life in and around New York, which is what I am used to.  With my experience, I found that my fellow classmates were sheltered, close-minded, unusually religious (and this is coming from someone that grew up in a very Christian home), and many were just like clones of each other.  My college really lacked diversity - not just racial diversity, but socioeconomic diversity, geographical diversity, and the most important aspect: diversity of ideas.  Most of the students at my school grew up in similar households, attended the same high schools, shared the same beliefs, and were not aware of the problems/challenges that I faced as an out of state student, let alone the struggles that many people share on a daily basis. 

So I spent four years alone, as an outsider in an unfamiliar territory, seeking counseling from my boyfriend, deadlocked in a fight with my family who refused to let me transfer schools or even listen to the legitimate reasons I should have been able to transfer (more about them and why that went on to come), and just plain miserable.  I mistakenly thought that all of my problems would be over once school was over and I moved back to my hometown.  I couldn't have been further from reality.  The reality is that things have just gotten worse since school was over.  Needless to say, I have been in and out of depression since I started college in 2005 and I am trying to pull myself out of it now.  I try to be self-aware and "check" my actions, but that can be hard when you're trudging through life depressed.  I recently went through a situation with my boyfriend, who has been there for me through everything, which caused me to take a serious look at the bad traits I had acquired, the constant bad attitude that I had, and the person that I had let myself become.  So after that, and seeing how badly I had treated him and everyone else around me and realizing what was at stake, I am making a conscious effort to overcome my explosive anger and depressed mentality so that I can finally move past the bad experience and start the rest of my life.  Hopefully this blog will be part of that healing process.

Well that was a lot more than just background info about me, but it kind of explains where I am coming from most recently, and the position that I am currently in.  I am going to close on that note, because I am waiting for my boyfriend to come over so we can bake a cake for my grandpa. 

More later.

First Post

Okay, I am back one more time for a real attempt at blogging.  Despite having tons to say and write about and wanting to blog, I haven't quite been able to find the dedication to keep up with it.  I am determined to change that, espcially since I have plenty of free time to write!

So welcome to Cheeks' Collection.  This will be a collection of posts from me about my life, opinions, thoughts, experiences, discoveries and info on hair!